


On Your Left

by TaleasOldasTimeandSpace



Series: Yet Another Gratuitously Fluffy Darcyland Soulmate AU [11]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Balrog the Bilgesnipe, But He's Learning, Darcyland, F/M, SHIP DARCY WITH ALL THE THINGS, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Steve still doesn't know how to talk to women, exercise is evil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-11
Updated: 2016-08-11
Packaged: 2018-08-08 04:57:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7744219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaleasOldasTimeandSpace/pseuds/TaleasOldasTimeandSpace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Steve stays true to his troll nature.  And once again demonstrates that he Does Not Think Things Through.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On Your Left

'Make a hole, people!  Science!minion and hellhound coming through!  Move or be eaten!’

Steve looked up from his tablet at the shout to see a petite woman, arms laden with cardboard boxes, elbowing her way through the crowed lobby of the Avengers Tower.  Trotting in front of her was the ugliest…creature he’d seen since the Chitauri invasion.  Whatever it was, it effectively cleared a path where the girl alone probably would have struggled.  Almost as if she could feel his gaze, she glanced his way, a wide smile spreading across her face as she freed on hand to wave. 

His hand twitched away from his tablet to wave back, but before he could she yelled, ‘Thor!  Hey man, could you swing by the lab?  Janey’s on the verge of a Science!bender, and I need you to head her off at the pass.’

Steve forced himself not to jump when Thor’s voice boomed in his ear.  For a giant, the Asgardian was surprisingly adept at sneaking up on people.  ‘Of course, Darcy!  I will be with you and my beloved directly!’

‘Groovy!  See you in a few.  C’mon, Balrog,’ she added, as the creature with her had paused to growl menacingly at Thor.  ‘You can play with Thor later.’

Steve watched them disappear into an elevator, before turning to Thor.  ‘Who was that?’

‘That was Darcy Lewis, my lightening sister and my beloved Jane’s bosom companion.  She bested me with my own element when first we met, and she has the heart of a warrior.’

Steve blinked.  He was used to Thor’s flowery discourse, but that was high praise even from him.  ‘And her…pet?’

Thor’s face darkened briefly.  ‘That was Darcy’s bligesnipe, Balrog.  I cannot fathom what the Allfather was thinking when he allowed her to take that creature from Asgard.’

Steve was only half-listening.  ‘Did you say “bligesnipe?”’

‘Aye.  What of it?  It is repulsive, but I must admit, the beast has been remarkably well-behaved, and is devoted to the lady.  She does appear to have that effect on everyone she meets.’

‘No reason.  I’ve got to talk to Nat.  I’ll see you later, Thor!’

* * *

 

The problem with having a merciless assassin as your personal trainer, Darcy decided, was that your personal trainer was by default a merciless assassin.

Sure, it _sounded_ cool and glamorous to say ‘Yeah, I’m being trained by the Black Widow.’  But that training was less ‘I will help you turn your body into a weapon so that you can kill a man with your thumb’ and more ‘I will make you regret you even _have_ a body.’

She had the sneaking suspicion that she was never going to learn how to strangle a man with her thighs.

Ever since Captain America—now there was a man she’d like to kill with her thumb—had decided that all civilians associated with the Avengers needed to have basic self-defense training, her life had become a living hell.  Natasha made her jog around Central Park every morning.  It was _torture._

She’d tried talking her way out of it.  When Natasha first approached her with the new exercise regimen, Darcy’s first response had been, ‘But I have Palpatine and Balrog!  They can take care of any bad guys that come after me, and Tony gave me a panic button, so the Avengers can mop up what’s left.’

The Black Widow gave her a flat look, and Darcy felt her soul shrivel within her.  ‘Your taser and bilgesnipe, while both excellent resources, can’t guarantee your safety at all times.  And the Avengers won’t always be around to save you, even if we wanted to.’

And that was how Darcy found herself sentenced to the horrors of daily exercise.  At least she was allowed to take Balrog with her.  He actually enjoyed their jogs, the sellout.  Since he was the size of a small pony, she figured she could always ride him back to the Tower if the exercise proved too much.

In protest, Darcy had invested in a selection of t-shirts to wear while suffering.  They bore encouraging slogans such as _exercise is against my religion, it’s too early for this madness, if I’m running there’s probably a T-Rex behind me, no—I said COFFEE first,_ and her personal favourite, _training to keep up with the Doctor._   She had to find her entertainment _somewhere_.

And then Steve Rogers started running with her.

Well, by ‘running’ she meant ‘showing off his disgustingly fit supersoldier body.’  He usually lapped her about fifty times in the time it took her to make a single circuit of the park.  Every time he passed, he’d say _‘On your left!_ ’ and leave her to eat his dust.

The first time it happened, she’d tripped in surprise, sitting on the ground in stunned silence until Balrog’s concerned licks urged her back to her feet.  The second and third time it was kind of cute, especially when he’d flash her a little grin as he passed.  The fourth time it was getting old, and from the fifth time on out it drove her bonkers.

‘On your left’ was all he ever said to her.  It might have given her Princess Bride feels, if it weren’t so _freakin’_ annoying _._

It continued like that for a week.  He was always long gone by the time she was finally finished, and she never managed to catch him at the Tower.  She was getting more and more irritated, until finally she snapped.

She could hear him approaching from behind.  Before he could say anything, she shrieked, _‘If you say “on your left” one more time, I don’t care if you’re a national treasure and my soulmate, I_ swear _I will feed you to my bilgesnipe!’_

This time instead of passing her, he slowed to match her pace.  Which basically meant he went from Ramming Speed! to dead slow.  The jerk hadn’t even broken a sweat, which was so unfair.  Darcy felt like all the moisture in her body had oozed out through her pores to soak her shirt that read _I don’t remember why I’m running.  Do you?_ surrounded by tic marks.  So attractive.

He laughed sheepishly, and she struggled with the competing urges to deck him and pinch his cheeks.  ‘Sorry about that.  I was pretty sure you were my soulmate that day in the lobby when you were talking to Thor, but I couldn’t be certain until you said that.’

‘Talking to Thor…?’ She frowned, trying to remember the last time she’d talked to Thor in the lobby.  ‘Wait a minute, that was _three weeks_ ago, right before Natasha said you wanted all the civilians to start training.’  She gaped at him.  ‘Are you saying you did this just to find out if I was your soulmate?!’

He ducked his head, looking at her through his lashes.  It was completely unfair how attractive he looked.  ‘Yes?’

‘Balrog.  Kill.’

Balrog glanced at Steve, yawned, and flopped onto the ground for a nap, his antlers digging shallow furrows into the grass.

‘Traitor.’

Steve grinned.  ‘I think he likes me.’

‘He’ll be using your star-spangled corpse as a chew toy when I’m through with you.’

‘Look,’ he caught her arm gently, holding his other hand up in surrender.  ‘I'm sorry.  I obviously didn’t handle this correctly.  Can we start over?’

She eyed him suspiciously.  He gazed back, his expression a mixture of hope, innocence, and remorse.  He’d probably used that all the time when he was skinny to get out of trouble.  Unfortunately for her, it was just a potent now as it was then.  She heaved a sigh.  ‘Fine,’ she muttered belligerently.

His face lit up, and she resisted the urge to squint against the glare.  How could one person be so _sunny?_   Especially this time of morning.  He was absolutely ridiculous.  ‘Great!’  He released her arm and held out a hand to shake.  ‘Hello, I’m Steve Rogers.  It’s a pleasure to meet you.’

She rolled her eyes, but played along.  ‘Hi Steve, I’m Darcy.  What brings you to Central Park at this ungodly hour of the morning?’

‘Just getting a little exercise before I start the day.  You?’

 _A little exercise?_ she mouthed with a snort.  ‘Same, actually.  My boss’ boss’…partner?’  She raised an eyebrow, and he shrugged.  ‘Partner.  He’s a bit of a health nut, and instituted a company-wide fitness plan.’  She leaned closer and whispered, ‘Between you and me, I think he’s just using it as an excuse to meet girls.’  She had the satisfaction of seeing him blush.  Darn it, he was cute when he blushed.

‘I, uh, I wouldn’t say _girls_.  Just one girl.  Singular.  Special.  Drop-dead gorgeous, in fact.’

Now it was her turn to blush.  ‘Really?’

He nodded solemnly.  ‘Do you think you could forgive me for this whole fiasco?’

‘Depends.  Do I still have to jog every morning?’

‘Well, I do think the training program is a good idea for everyone.  However, I could jog with you instead of past you from now on.’

‘That’ll do.’  She winked at him.  ‘For now.’

* * *

 

‘Steve, I thought we were running, not fighting off bad guys.  What’s with the shield?’

A month after their truce, Darcy found that Steve made a better running partner that she’d initially thought.  He kept pace with her and they spent the mornings getting to know each other.  Occasionally he would lap her for old time’s sake, and sometimes he and Balrog would race each other around the park.  Darcy’s own times had improved, and she found she actually looked forward to their morning runs.  Plus, Balrog seemed to like Steve, and the bilgesnipe was a great judge of character.

None of that explained why Steve had his shield slung across his back, even if he did make the t-shirt/harness combination look sexy.

He pressed a quick kiss to her cheek as they entered the park.  He’d started doing that a couple of weeks ago, and she secretly loved it.  ‘I saw some videos online about dogs catching Frisbees, and it looked like something Balrog might enjoy.  But since he’s too strong for a regular Frisbee, I thought we could use my shield.  You know how Tony likes to say that’s all it really is anyway.’

‘My sweet marshmallow child, what have I told you about watching videos on the internet without me?  We don’t want a repeat of the Wrecking Ball incident.’  They both shuddered.  ‘But in this case, you might be on to something.’  She punched him in the arm.  ‘Look at you!  The Man with the Plan after all!’

‘Guess there’s only one way to find out.’  As soon as they reached a clear, grassy area, Steve unhooked his shield.  Balrog could tell something was up, so when Steve threw the shield, he was ready.  The throw was hard and fast, but Balrog leapt up and caught it effortlessly, spinning around once and using his momentum to send the shield flying back to Steve.  He bounced on his front legs, waving his spiky tail in the air while grinning and making the chuffing noise that meant he was happy.

‘Wow, I guess you were right about the Frisbee.  I don’t think I’ve seen him this happy since he stole Thor’s favourite cape and made a nest out of it.  I guess I’ll keep you after all.’

Steve grinned as he threw the shield again.  ‘That’s great!  In that case, how do you feel about an autumn wedding?’

She raised an eyebrow.  ‘Not to put a damper on your enthusiasm, but that’s kind of soon.  Been giving this some thought, have you?’

He shrugged, caught the shield, and threw it again.  ‘Maybe?  I figure you’d want Jane to be your maid of honour, and Bucky would be my best man.  And of course Balrog would be the ringbearer.’

‘I suppose that does make sense—wait a minute, did you just make a Tolkien joke?’

‘It’s only appropriate.’

‘I was going to give you a hard time for planning our wedding before even asking me, but never mind.  Soulmates or not, we’re obviously made for each other.’  She pretended to dab her eyes.  ‘That might be the most beautiful thing anyone’s ever said to me.’

‘Oh, I’m just getting started, sweetheart.’

‘I’ll hold you to that.’  The next time Balrog tossed the shield, Darcy grabbed it before Steve could, taking a page from her bilgesnipe’s book and spinning to throw it back.  It didn’t sail as far as Steve or Balrog’s throws, but it was a respectable effort for someone who wasn’t a supersoldier or a mythical beastie.  ‘Say, you wanna marathon the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings movies after this?’

‘Only if they’re the extended editions.’

‘I’ve taught you well.’

**Author's Note:**

> Have you ever heard Captain America do a Gollum impression? It's freaky. Darcy thinks it's hilarious, and Steve occasionally breaks it out during missions, just to make Tony's eye twitch. Thor crashed their marathon (he's torn between the Dwarves and the Rohirrim as his favourite). Bilbo is Darcy's favourite. Balrog's favourite, of course, is the balrog. He cries every time Gandalf kills the balrog.
> 
> Darcy still doesn't know how to kill a man with her thighs (or her thumb). But she is pretty dangerous over short distances, and she's capable of inflicting suffering on an opponent even without Palpatine or Balrog. Steve is proud.
> 
> And yes, I tagged on that extra bit at then end just for the Captain America Ultimate Frisbee. And the ringbearer joke.
> 
> I'm going to be starting a Darcy/Balrog spin-off. He'll still make appearances in this series, but I've had a lot of requests for Darcy/Balrog adventures. It'll be a oneshot series like this, and you can send me prompts for adventures you'd like them to have. I'll probably stick Must Love...Dog...? and maybe this one in the series, so that it's easy to find.
> 
> As always, you can leave prompts below, or [shoot the breeze](https://taleasoldastime-andspace.tumblr.com/ask) on my tumblr. No smut or slash, please and thanks :)  
> Namarie, my little bligesnipes!


End file.
